[Amazing] 25 Witty But Cold Insults That Keep It Clean

If you’ve ever just really wanted to knock someone out with a verbal left hook but didn’t know how to go about it, you’re in the right place. The first rule of penning insults is to never use profanity. It actually cheapens the hit and gives your opponent a huge window of opportunity to curse you right back. Instead, resort to your wit. These are 25 witty but cold insults that keep it clean.

25

You look like something that I would draw with my left hand.

wow just wow

Source: gotlines.com

24

I refuse to have a battle of wits with somebody who is unarmed!

i has the dumb

Source: thoughtcatalog

23

If I ever said anything to offend you, it was purely intentional.

thumbs up

Source: thoughtcatalog, Image: pixabay.com

22

I'm not saying that I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.

phone

Source: gotlines.com, Image: pixabay.com

21

In spite of what it did to you, don't you love nature?

nature

Source: thoughtcatalog

20

I've seen someone like you before, but I had to pay admission.

credit card

Source: gotlines.com, Image: pixabay.com

19

You have the perfect face for radio!

radio

Source: gotlines.com, Image: pixabay.com

18

You're not as bad as people say. You're a whole lot worse.

ouch

Source: reddit

17

I'm not sure what your problem is, but I'd be wiling to bet that it's hard to pronounce.

burn

Source: reddit

16

It's pretty easy to figure out when you're lying. Your lips are moving.

throne of lies

Source: thoughtcatalog

15

Wow! You look like a before picture!

oh dang

Source: gotlines.com

14

I wanted to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

ya nasty

Source: reddit

13

I don't think you're un-intelligent. You just have bad luck when it comes to thinking.

facepalm

Source: thoughtcatalog

12

Brains aren't everything. And, in your case, they're nothing.

no brain

Source: gotlines.com

11

It's looks like your face caught on fire and somebody tried to extinguish it with a hammer.

yao ming

Source: reddit

10

It's really great to see how you don't let your education get in the way of your ignorance.

the ignorance is strong with this one

Source: thoughtcatalog

9

They say that we all sprang from apes. As it stands, you didn't seem to spring far enough.

apes

Source: gotlines.com

8

I'm really jealous of everyone that hasn't met you!

so jealousy

Source: reddit

7

Most people live and learn. Apparently you just live.

learning is not fun

Source: thoughtcatalog, Image: pixabay.com

6

There is only one problem with your face...I can see it.

he didn't

Source: onelinefun.com

5

So a thought crossed your mind? Well, that journey must have been long and lonely.

brain

Source: oldquotes.com, Image: pixabay.com

4

It's amazing what you've done with your hair! How did you manage to grow it out of your nostrils like that?

nose-hair

Source: reddit, Image: commons.wikimedia

3

Hey, there's something on your chin. No, no...the third one down.

he mad

Source: thoughtcatalog.com

2

They say that laughter is the medicine. Seems like your face is curing the world!

laugh

Source: gotlines.com, Image: pixabay.com

If you have enjoyed this list, take a look at 25 Incredibly Insulting But Clever Memes.

1

You were born on a highway right? Because that’s where most accidents happen.

highway

Source: thoughtcatalog, Image: pixabay.com

Photos: 21. Dharesh via commons.wikimedia, 13. & feature image: hobvias Sudonelghm via Flickr,

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